Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Sick and tired of being sick and tired

The last days in Sallaeri I felt like my respiratory system was shutting down. I would cough all night- the hacking kept myself and everyone else up. The lack of more than a few good night's sleep compromised my immune system, which in turn made my cold worsen. Wednesday afternoon I went home sick from school, after drinking some of the canteen's lovely rich spiced tea to ease my throat. Thursday I dragged myself to school and attempted to teach with a little voice so as not to encourage coughing. Friday, my last day, I was too sick to go. I felt so badly about this and had a little pity party in my bed, crying about how rotten I felt. It was emotionally difficult for me to not go, a few of the kids had told me they would miss me and I wanted to give them a fun (and educational! ;) ) last day. I also felt obligated to fulfil my volunteer objectives- I felt bad that I was not 'following through' with what I said I would do, and felt that my body 'let me down'.

Raven has also been suffering the respiratory distress, but Thursday night she was also throwing up. (How Heath can sleep through times like these amazes me!) Luckily there was a bucket that lives in the hallway that I was able to grab for her use- The bucket is intended for Soobaum to urinate in during the night, much easier for his parents instead of having to get up and escort him down 4 flights of cold dark stairs, through the dungeon like trap door and into the bathroom.
The father had gotten up while Raven was 'using the bucket' and the only thing he seemed concerned about was the bucket being replaced- not “Is your daughter ok?” . My emotional state was pretty fragile this day, and that (on top of a few other things) tipped me over the edge into near hysterics. I had a hard time believing that this family could appear so uncaring when 2 of the 4 volunteers staying with them were evidently ill. I tried to view this through a multicultural lens and an open mind/heart, but truthfully I am still incredulous, especially in light of others in Salleri who have shown kindness, and returning to our warm, caring family in Pepsi Cola.

Friday was doubly disappointing because we were looking forward to dinner at the Sherpa's house, and Raven was looking forward to spending time with her friend from Singapore. I knew we couldn't 'not' show up to dinner- so at about 3pm I hauled my butt out of bed with some oranges, gum and 'choco-fun' bars as a gift. I slowly walked the half an hour to their house to tell them we were too sick to join them for dinner. I was ushered inside, offered no less than 4 cups of traditional salt Tibetan tea, and conversed with the father, Gelu. Their young son was chanting at his altar, he was shy and would pause whenever I glanced over. I watched as Gelu's wife Kanchhe poured tea from the thermos into small metal bowls on the altar. When I enquired about it- she looked confused at first, then gave a great belly laugh and told me it was water! I had mistaken the thermoses. I attempted to leave many times, in fact I had no intention to stay, but of course they would hear nothing of it. Kanchhe and her daughter were preparing food in the kitchen and I tried to tell them I was sick, had a small appetite, and needed to get home before dark when Kanchhe put out the most delicious food I had eaten in Solukombu yet. She had made traditional potato pancakes, with buff (buffalo) butter melting on top, and a small side dish of what looked like chipolte yogurt- a spicy topping. Next she placed some fried sliced potatoes on my plate. Yum! Then a glass of warm buff milk, rich and creamy. I was so sad we couldn't all be there, healthy, feasting and enjoying the company. I was feverish by the time I came home, joined my family in our bed nest and had no room for dinner later. 


Early Saturday, Mohan, the principal of the school, called the house and let us know the jeep was ready to pick up our bags in the morning. It would potentially be ready to leave 2:00pm, not 4:00am as we were expecting. Mohan has been exceptional with regards to ensuring our transport, communicating information, and ensuring the jeep would drop us off in Pepsi Cola. He said he was going to see us off at 4 in the morning, and I don't doubt that he would’ve been there. He saw us off in the afternoon, and (I'll let Heath tell you the story of the jeep ride), when we got to the mid-way hostel- the phone rang for us- it was the principal checking in to make sure things were fine! He had called ahead to ensure we had tasty food and a bed to sleep in for a few hours. What a sweetheart.

Monday – Thursday PepsiCola
These have been stay-at-home sick days for Raven and I. I have a full blown sinus infection, no doubt the long jeep ride did nothing to improve my health. We are all so happy to be back at our loving, roomy house. The house parents have been kind- ensuring I drink enough hot lemon water, and making me some kind of herbal remedy tea from their balcony garden. I REALLY wanted to dive into my stash of antibiotics, but Heath is wise to say that I need to keep all my pro-biotics for India's germs and diseases. One of the volunteers,Darcy, is a year away from becoming a MD in Australia, she claims that studies show antibiotics aren't indicated in sinus infections. Lungs, yes, not heads. Pity. My pity party could use some pharmaceutical 'pick me up'.

So what is the lesson? Not to go stir crazy lying around. Not doing 'nothing' is doing 'something'. My daily outing has been to lunch at LTC Fast Food and cafe. (A bit of a misnomer, as it takes an hour to get food on the table. This is normal in Nepal.) Healthy Heath reminds me- “The only thing you have to do is rest and get better”. “Present moment, Perfect moment” (Thich Nhat Hahn) . Today is day four of bed-rest and self care, and I am slowly healing. I still fight my personal recriminations for not 'doing enough', seeing enough, helping enough. Being sick with a nasty cold still seems like such a waste of time when one is travelling, but I'll try to view it as gaining energy for the future....

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