Sick and tired of being sick and tired

The last days in Sallaeri I felt like my respiratory system was shutting down. I would cough all night- the hacking kept myself and everyone else up. The lack of more than a few good night's sleep compromised my immune system, which in turn made my cold worsen. Wednesday afternoon I went home sick from school, after drinking some of the canteen's lovely rich spiced tea to ease my throat. Thursday I dragged myself to school and attempted to teach with a little voice so as not to encourage coughing. Friday, my last day, I was too sick to go. I felt so badly about this and had a little pity party in my bed, crying about how rotten I felt. It was emotionally difficult for me to not go, a few of the kids had told me they would miss me and I wanted to give them a fun (and educational! ;) ) last day. I also felt obligated to fulfil my volunteer objectives- I felt bad that I was not 'following through' with what I said I would do, and felt that my body 'let me down'.

Raven has also been suffering the respiratory distress, but Thursday night she was also throwing up. (How Heath can sleep through times like these amazes me!) Luckily there was a bucket that lives in the hallway that I was able to grab for her use- The bucket is intended for Soobaum to urinate in during the night, much easier for his parents instead of having to get up and escort him down 4 flights of cold dark stairs, through the dungeon like trap door and into the bathroom.

The father had gotten up while Raven was 'using the bucket' and the only thing he seemed concerned about was the bucket being replaced- not “Is your daughter ok?” . My emotional state was pretty fragile this day, and that (on top of a few other things) tipped me over the edge into near hysterics. I had a hard time believing that this family could appear so uncaring when 2 of the 4 volunteers staying with them were evidently ill. I tried to view this through a multicultural lens and an open mind/heart, but truthfully I am still incredulous, especially in light of others in Salleri who have shown kindness, and returning to our warm, caring family in Pepsi Cola.

Friday was doubly disappointing because we were looking forward to dinner at the Sherpa's house, and Raven was looking forward to spending time with her friend from Singapore. I knew we couldn't 'not' show up to dinner- so at about 3pm I hauled my butt out of bed with some oranges, gum and 'choco-fun' bars as a gift. I slowly walked the half an hour to their house to tell them we were too sick to join them for dinner. I was ushered inside, offered no less than 4 cups of traditional salt Tibetan tea, and conversed with the father, Gelu. Their young son was chanting at his altar, he was shy and would pause whenever I glanced over. I watched as Gelu's wife Kanchhe poured tea from the thermos into small metal bowls on the altar. When I enquired about it- she looked confused at first, then gave a great belly laugh and told me it was water! I had mistaken the thermoses. I attempted to leave many times, in fact I had no intention to stay, but of course they would hear nothing of it. Kanchhe and her daughter were preparing food in the kitchen and I tried to tell them I was sick, had a small appetite, and needed to get home before dark when Kanchhe put out the most delicious food I had eaten in Solukombu yet. She had made traditional potato pancakes, with buff (buffalo) butter melting on top, and a small side dish of what looked like chipolte yogurt- a spicy topping. Next she placed some fried sliced potatoes on my plate. Yum! Then a glass of warm buff milk, rich and creamy. I was so sad we couldn't all be there, healthy, feasting and enjoying the company. I was feverish by the time I came home, joined my family in our bed nest and had no room for dinner later. 

Early Saturday, Mohan, the principal of the school, called the house and let us know the jeep was ready to pick up our bags in the morning. It would potentially be ready to leave 2:00pm, not 4:00am as we were expecting. Mohan has been exceptional with regards to ensuring our transport, communicating information, and ensuring the jeep would drop us off in Pepsi Cola. He said he was going to see us off at 4 in the morning, and I don't doubt that he would’ve been there. He saw us off in the afternoon, and (I'll let Heath tell you the story of the jeep ride), when we got to the mid-way hostel- the phone rang for us- it was the principal checking in to make sure things were fine! He had called ahead to ensure we had tasty food and a bed to sleep in for a few hours. What a sweetheart.

Monday – Thursday PepsiCola

These have been stay-at-home sick days for Raven and I. I have a full blown sinus infection, no doubt the long jeep ride did nothing to improve my health. We are all so happy to be back at our loving, roomy house. The house parents have been kind- ensuring I drink enough hot lemon water, and making me some kind of herbal remedy tea from their balcony garden. I REALLY wanted to dive into my stash of antibiotics, but Heath is wise to say that I need to keep all my pro-biotics for India's germs and diseases. One of the volunteers,Darcy, is a year away from becoming a MD in Australia, she claims that studies show antibiotics aren't indicated in sinus infections. Lungs, yes, not heads. Pity. My pity party could use some pharmaceutical 'pick me up'.

So what is the lesson? Not to go stir crazy lying around. Not doing 'nothing' is doing 'something'. My daily outing has been to lunch at LTC Fast Food and cafe. (A bit of a misnomer, as it takes an hour to get food on the table. This is normal in Nepal.) Healthy Heath reminds me- “The only thing you have to do is rest and get better”. “Present moment, Perfect moment” (Thich Nhat Hahn) . Today is day four of bed-rest and self care, and I am slowly healing. I still fight my personal recriminations for not 'doing enough', seeing enough, helping enough. Being sick with a nasty cold still seems like such a waste of time when one is travelling, but I'll try to view it as gaining energy for the future....

an epic jeep ride to kathmandu

We have arrived back to Kathmandu, safe and sound, 26 hours later, with a few tailbone bruises and incredible scenery.....more to come, as soon as we catch up on some sleep!

There were many questions, both asked and implied, regarding the significance of our eventual wedding this year. I would always scoff when friends ‘bought in’ to the whole marriage thing. I never really got, but I’m thankful that I finally did. The story of our fateful meeting at the turn of the millennium is one of passion and destiny. Before we knew where we were going, and long before the fire had burned down to a glowing bed of coals, Raven was on her way. We committed ourselves to raising a child, as all parents do, without reservation. As our little angel grew and flourished, we started to drift back to our own separate lives. We assumed the roles that we thought good parents should shoulder, providing a stable, stimulating and worldly environment. Being a parent is by far the most challenging task one can take on. Children reflect all of our faults back at us, and when it comes to being a stable, nurturing father, I have many. I didn’t have a father to turn to or emulate, but I inherited two incredible families through Su and Raven. I am eternally grateful for being accepted so completely, being such a novice. I have learned so much about family and community through this network of caring, compassionate, and diverse network of newfound relations. But something still wasn’t quite right. I needed more than 9-5 and weekend retreats. Su needed more. We needed more.

 We tried more stuff, more vacations, more sailing, and more beer and wine…What we really needed was more of each other. We had dedicated ourselves to being good parents, but had never dedicated ourselves to each other. I’ve never signed a lease, cell phone contract, or even bought a gym membership. I’ve always been more of a ‘drop-in’ kind of guy. We obviously did some soul searching. I cycled away, across the continent, getting closer to home the further I went. Things started to click. The solution and the journey towards it suddenly became clear. Su and Raven gave me a future I never could have foreseen, the greatest gift in a life full of good fortune.

  All relationships require maintenance, but there is so much more. We should facilitate each other to grow, to evolve, to strive for our full potential. We are complementary creatures. We can, and should become greater together than separately. I became committed to doing whatever was necessary to honor that union. Su is the most amazing woman I know, and I am a better man because of her. I started to learn to honor myself, to take a path that leads through fear and into understanding, faith, and unity. Our wedding was a public declaration of gratitude, commitment, and dedication, not only to each other, but to our family, our friends, our community. You have all given us so much, nurtured us, and allowed us to thrive in, and as a family. I thank you all more than you could possibly know. My most sincere wish is to be able to facilitate growth, evolution, contentment and joy in return. Namaste.

Dreaming of India, and thinking too much...

We’re all dreaming of India. Not that we haven’t enjoyed our time in Salleri, but I’m sure Su has covered most of the physical challenges and frustrations. We’ve encountered so much hospitality and met so many wonderful people. I’ve enjoyed exploring for kilometers around the rarely used dirt roads and trails, always delighted by the peacefulness, the hardy self-sufficiency of the rural Nepalese, and by the countless shrines and stupas. Making offerings, prayer, and honoring Buddha and the gods are an integral part of daily life. We took Vincent up to the Everest lookout, but there were clouds blowing up from the next valley and obscuring the view. We waited for a while, and were rewarded with a few peeks as the clouds occasionally thinned. After a few obligatory photos, we descended to the little rustic teahouse on the saddle of the ridge. The clouds were flowing up and over the low point, reducing visibility to 100 meters and imparting the place with an eerie sense of isolation. If it hadn’t been for the prayer flags, it would have been perfectly spooky.  The children always provide my fondest encounters, with their enthusiastic greetings, bright eyes and filthy clothes, and the simple joys of childhood tomfoolery. Playing ‘marbles’ with rocks, chasing hoops and broken wheels down the dusty road, past chickens and goats, perfectly content with simple, pieced together toys.

   Even though Vincent and I never had a chance to volunteer at the monastery, we’ll still have some great memories. During yet another visit to inquire about teaching, they assured us how much they appreciate foreign teachers, but were simply too busy before the winter break. We were invited back the next morning, for a ceremony that a very senior lama was flying in by helicopter for. He was to bless the new stupa that has just been built, and is still being painted. We skipped morning dhal bhaat to arrive by the 8:00 ‘starting time’. We had tea, took some more pictures of the monastery, and talked with a few people from the gathered crowd. Suddenly…around 10:30, a red helicopter approached, coming in lower and lower, the noise of the blades a stark contrast to the serenity of the setting. Vincent was low on batteries for his camera, and so we were we waiting and wondering where it was going to touch down. As we all stared up in anticipation, a window on the right  side of the chopper opened, and a yellow bag jutted out into the wash of air, then a hand started reaching in and dropping something, handful by handful. I’m still not sure what it was, it blew away as soon as it was released, either marigold blossoms or an orange powder. After one complete loop around the stupa, instead of landing, the helicopter turned and flew away! Vincent and I looked at each other with puzzled expressions on our faces, before breaking into hysterical laughter. That was it?! A fly-by blessing; who would have thought?

  I’ve been researching some ashrams and yoga ‘hotspots’ in India. Since we’ll be leaving Nepal earlier than we originally thought, we will have four months on the sub-continent. This makes it possible to travel all the way to the far south, where we can enjoy elephant parades, beaches, and some interesting ashrams. There is even an international community of over 3000 people called Auroville, which is supposed to be a model for sustainable living, devoted to the continued evolution and unification of the human spirit. Along the way, we’ll have the chance to take in some of the holiest sites and temples in India and the world. If the timing works out, we may even help sea turtle hatchlings make their way back to the sea, instead of being lured to their demise by the headlights of a nearby highway. Travel in India can be exhausting, but the rewards are certainly worth the effort.  I know I’m ready for some heat, and the challenges ahead.

  I’ve devoured most of the books that were weighing down my pack. Amy Tan’s ‘Hundred Secret Senses’ is a must read, insightful story of the paths we follow through our connections with the past. ‘The Three Day Road’, by Joseph Boyden is not exactly uplifting, but is an incredible tale about a Native hunter returning from the trenches of WW I, contrasting the familiar and sometimes harsh traditional Cree lifestyle with the brutal reality of war. Thanks for that one Herb! Also, I finally brought myself to read ‘High Tide’, by Mark Lycas. A fascinating voyage that tours the front lines of places being affected by climate change at the turn of the millennium. Full of real world implications on the lives and the cultures impacted, and backed up with the current science of the time. It’s a little depressing, but illustrates the challenges we will all have to face in the near future. Given the undeniable need to make drastic and sweeping changes to the way of life we take for granted, I hold little hope of world governments achieving anything approaching a timely and feasible solution. At this point, the global economy is mired in debt, unable to even make the interest payments without adding to the burden future generations will have to pay for.  Corporations and the ultra-rich absolutely refuse to consider the equal distribution of resources, valuing abstract figures of ‘wealth’ over the health and wellbeing of the majority of humanity. The era of plentiful and easily accessible energy, and the civilization built around exploiting it, is increasingly short lived.  Just as the unprecedented Roman Empire became mired in excess and lack of decisive leadership, our system of global and systematic overuse and outright destruction of the ecosystems necessary to support the burgeoning populations, will fail the test of time. Humans are already causing the sixth largest extinction in history of the planet. Nearly all species are in decline, except for humans, and the few creatures adapted to the urban environment. Some scientists estimate that at current rates, up to half of all species will be extinct by 2100. We now live in the Anthropocene Period…an era marked by catastrophic human impact on the global ecosystem.

   I know…blah, blah, blah. Accepting the reality of an unsustainable way of life is overwhelming. The irony of my own hypocrisy is not lost on me. I’m as unprepared to give up the ability to travel as anyone. I enjoy the freedom to visit friends and family, and to explore the very places that are threatened, but still intact. The implications of making significant change in our day to day lives are much more than most people are willing to accept. For every person that decides to make an educated choice to reduce their impact to a reasonable level, there are 5 billion more waiting in line for a chance to enjoy a piece of ‘The American Dream’.  The continuation of rapidly melting glaciers, deforestation and pollution, is understandably, yet regrettably, unavoidable. Developing countries are producing rapid growth of industry, vehicles and population with every passing year, unchecked by any effective regulation or foresight. Carbon emissions reach new highs every year as the ice melts, the sea rises, floating islands of plastic collect in the oceans, and damaging weather becomes commonplace.  Even though technologies are available that are cleaner, in rural Nepal, if your propane stove breaks down, or fuel is unavailable or too expensive, wood always burns, and it’s free. Most of the trees around here are stripped of all but the highest branches, and wood smoke hangs acridly over the village. As oil stocks become more expensive and difficult to extract, will dirty, yet plentiful coal meet the increasing demands for energy? Any remotely feasible replacement for our energy needs is decades from actual production and distribution, even without considering the need to upgrade the aging infrastructure, and the increasing damage\repair cycles caused by ‘extreme weather events’. How will we run a fleet of electric cars, when high use of air-conditioners causes blackouts now? The market driven economies depend on ‘consumers’ more than ‘communities’. How can oil and gas companies be making all time record profits, while local governments go bankrupt? Why are hospitals, schools, and social security programs struggling to provide the services we see as integral to an advanced civilization? We have thrown the planet out of a long-standing balance. Our efforts at mitigating the damage, and the hard won victories, are miniscule compared to the actions and policies perpetuated by ‘economic growth’. Constant growth, as required by capitalism, is simply impossible with finite resources. A complete departure from our status quo values is necessary. Ancient ‘tribal’ cultures had a vast knowledge of the energy systems linking all life, and thrived by honoring their role as a part of that system. I have absolute faith in the adaptability and determination of the human spirit. The Mayans had acquired immense knowledge and power that we still can’t decipher, but had predicted the end of an age and the beginning of another, as have many esteemed sources over the ages. Matthew 5:5 - The meek shall inherit the Earth. Our attachments to a dysfunctional culture will be the greatest challenge to the evolution of the current generation. Will we flee from the proverbial Sodom and Gomorrah, or gaze back longingly at the fleeting source of hedonistic over-indulgence?  

   I know that I sound cynical, but I’m actually very optimistic. I envision an evolution, a return to a more symbiotic relationship with our only real source of prosperity: respectful and accountable community. Conflict usually stems from ignorance and fear. I hope we can integrate the knowledge we’ve accumulated, proving that we are indeed all brothers and sisters, sharing common needs, common ancestors, the same fresh air and drinkable water. I know that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one…David Choquehuanca, the Minister of External Affairs in Bolivia , explained that Coca-Cola will be expelled from Bolivia on the same day that the Mayan calendar enters a new cycle–December 21. According to Choquehuanca, “the date marks the end of capitalism and the start of a culture of life in community-based societies, an era marked by the end of hatred and the beginning of love. The twenty-first of December 2012 is the end of selfishness, of division.”

  I’ve definitely been struggling with some yogic challenges, but I know that joy and contentment, and the ability to make better choices on a daily basis, are always available if we dedicate the time to knowing and honoring ourselves. Every single choice we make has consequences, and requires a simple decision: Will this benefit the greater good, or simply satisfy a selfish, short-sighted desire? What could be more important for each of us, and those we love, than to make the effort to become more aware of our true needs, our true self, and our place among all life on Earth? That’s my two cents…

Buff milk and Video Games

Friday was the half day at school. We grabbed some samosas to eat for lunch en-route to the internet cafe. Our online time ended abruptly at 3:30 as the rotating load shedding (no more electricity for you!) hit the upper part of Salleri. We returned home, left Raven to her IPOD, then took a walk past the next little town of Dorphu to see a white 'Buddha eye' roadside stupa that I had seen a few days before. All of Nepal has these ancient monuments- most of them with Tibetan stone tablets carved by monks and left to weather the elements. On our way back we met an English speaking Sherpa who has retired from guiding to tend his farm. I had met and chatted with his daughter on a similar walk earlier in the week. He recognized this, and as we were just outside his house, he invited us in for tea. We accepted, knowing that Heath had packed a flashlight and Raven might be a little worried that when we return later than expected and in the dark.

Heath and I met the family- his 10 year old son, wearing red monks robes, had just returned to his family from his monastic schooling on the other side of the ridge, perhaps a four hour walk? The monasteries close down for the winter, as it is too cold for study. His wife was dressed in traditional mountain garb, while his daughter, aged 15, was wearing more western clothes. They had a small kitten, just separated from it's mother, mewling under the bench we sat on. Their house was warm- it seemed far more air tight than the house we stay in. To make us tea, the daughter had to light the fire and someone went out to milk the buffalo. We made small talk in both Nepalese and English. The father invited us to stay for dinner, but we explained about our daughter waiting and being potentially worried, so we made a dinner date for the next Friday.

Saturday was market day, so after buying mandarins and eating our dhal bhat breakfast, Heath, Vincent and I took the walk up the ridge see Everest again. It took about 2 hours as we were able to walk a faster pace (with no complaining) because Raven refused to come along – she had 'better things' to do (read: walk to the internet cafe so she could research for a science project and 'Facebook'.) We wandered a few steps higher this time, to a place where prayer flags were tied to large post-like branches placed securely in the ground. We appreciated the silence found in this high rhododendron forest. No people, no talking. Only the sound of birds singing and prayer flags rippling in the breeze. It was exquisite to be bathed in warmth from the sun. These are the quiet nature moments that I'll treasure as Kathmandu and India will be loud and hugely populated. As we climbed up we noticed clouds following the valley from the west. They accumulated lower down the ridge and obscured our complete view of the Himalayas but we were able to catch glimpses of Everest in the gaps.

The dirt levels have accumulated on our bodies. Washing and personal hygiene has become 'winter camping style' for me. It is too cold to wash my whole body, so I have been reapplying deodorant in the morning and washing my face every third day. There is dirt and dust on my feet that I haven't bothered to wash off for days. Teeth always get brushed but the rest of my body is covered with a thin layer of grime. I hope it is keeping me warmer! My clothes aren’t faring much better. We are all looking forward to a washing machine...or at least hand washing in warm water. Not to mention the dream of a hot shower in Pepsi Cola.

Since we spend much of the evening hours sequestered in our tiny room huddled under blankets, I have become a video game player. Yes, it is true. Raven and Heath poke fun at me about being a Luddite, but I have mastered the art of playing stupid games on the IPOD. I now enjoy entertaining games such as Om Nom and Happy Fall. Raven thinks I suck at them, but they help while the hours away when the electricity is out and I have read enough. They were both so kind as to download Tetris for me, the only game that I 'pwn'.

We're Chilly Willy, but the food is hot and spicy!

Our family is getting along surprisingly well being that we sleep and 'hang out' together under blankets in a chilly 2 metre square room from about 4pm to 8am, with a break to go downstairs for dinner. After dinner Vincent joins us for a fun Israeli card game that we learnt in the tea houses while trekking. Raven usually wins. The power 'brown outs' have recently changed their times. Now there's no power between the inconvenient hours of 6 and 9pm. Heath has been excellent at ensuring that our headlamps and electronic devices are powered up.

Daily I will sit in the kitchen and try to converse with the family. They sometimes ask me to help Soobaum with his homework. I find this is an excellent way to gain an afternoon cup of tea! Unfortunately we seem to be allotted only the morning cup. At least now Heath and Raven receive their sweet black (brown) coffee. Yes, Raven enjoys a cup of morning coffee, not tea.

I am interested in how the women cook, but the language barrier is pretty big, so I am left with watching the proceedings. I know most of the Nepalese vegetable names and I am trying to figure out the spices that they include. Turmeric seems to be the popular one. We eat a lot of potato and cauliflower veggie curry with the dhal bhaat. Sometimes they make pickles. In the larder area there are various jars of pickled items. They taste 'mitho' (tasty) but look pretty disgusting. If you found one of these jars in your pantry, I don't think you 'd even want to try to open it!

I am enjoying teaching at the school. The last few days have been cloudy, so it seems as if I never take off my fleecy sweater and down vest. The kids wear their jackets in class, too. Heath has had little luck with volunteering in the monastery. The monks have been absent for much of the time we have been here and now they are preparing for exams before they go south. This means that we will also head south for Kathmandu before too long. The Tibetan refuge school in Chelsea (higher up the ridge) that we visited will also close for the winter because it is too cold to teach.

I can't say that I am too sad to leave this beautiful area. We are cold much of the time. It isn't a problem that it is cold outside, but that one can not warm up INSIDE the house. We can see our breath inside from dawn to dusk, if not longer. There is no insulation, we can see light through cracks in our walls, and the window pane doesn't fit in the frame, either. We have to wear our outside clothes for eating, as the family leaves the front door open much of the time and there is a cool breeze entering the eating area. The warmest place is in front of the fire, but the family usually sits there. Lately they have been sitting around an open campfire-style iron holder that is filled with red-hot smouldering embers. It does little to warm up the room, and nothing for the rest of the house. Washing clothes in cold water is brutal on the hands. I find I can wash only two articles of clothing before my hands are red and burning. I have to take a break and shove them in my pockets to thaw before continuing. Yesterday I realized I burnt off all the little hairs from the back of my fingers tops. This must have happened when I was holding them in front of the stove-top flames to warm up after doing laundry!

Raven has her birthday today. Luckily for us a bakery just opened that advertised western style birthday cakes. We asked the baker to make us one, and when we enquired about the cost he said he'd know after he made it! Don't you love Nepal?! She will now be allowed access to Facebook, so you may be getting a friend request soon. We were planning on skipping school on her day, spending the morning at the internet 'cafe' so she could set up her profile, then walking to Phaplu for an extravagant lunch in a lodge.As it turned out, Rave wasn't feeling 100% (we think she didn't want to walk far!) So we made fried egg sandwiches at our house instead. The cake turned out pretty good- but the icing was more yak butter than sweet.

As it turns out there is another festival on Wednesday, so most kids won't be in school anyway- they will be walking to a temple a few hours away.

End of the School Week

Students start the school day by standing to attention in lines outside on the dusty field. They sing the Nepalese national anthem, then the little ones practice standing 'at ease' and 'at attention'. By Friday, Raven and I thought we had in the swing of things- then found Friday to be a short day. With school six days a week, it adds up to a 40 hour volunteer work week. (Am I a sucker or what?!) The principal came in today. I was wondering why there were no bandages on his face- then he let us know his tumor was removed from his chest, not his face. Another moment of Nepalese-English mix up.

Each day I am given a slip of paper and directed to different classes each block, to teach English. Sometimes I have a 'leisure block'. My favourite class is grade 9. They are talkative, intelligent and knowledgeable about their world. Most classes are quiet following any question. The students are too shy to speak up, and it appears that independent thought is not promoted. Military obedience is promoted within the school, and, I believe, in all schools in Nepal. Upon arriving in each class, the students rise to attention and greet Raven and I with a chorus of “Good Morning Miss”. This still takes me by surprise! I need a few moments for my brain to register that the students haven't sat down because they are waiting for my permission to! They also stand when it is their turn to read aloud or answer a question.

Jiwan, the senior teacher that assisted us in the first few days, stated that he thought his school was about 100 years behind North America. These photos are of the inside of the grade 7 class room. `

This classroom has a chalk board, but many of the others have a white board of the same size. There is no electricity, a tin roof, slatted wood walls and the rooms are empty of everything except benches and bench desks on an uneven dirt floor. The teacher has a bench desk with a chair. There are no supplies in the room, I have to carry my own white board pen from class to class, but I haven't been allotted any chalk yet. I am quite o.k. with that, because I hate the dry feel of chalk on my hands. I am not sure why the walls are half covered with newspaper, but we see this in peoples homes, as well. 

The staff toilet is pretty self explanatory....